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Expect the Worst, Hope for the Best
Here I am in my parents' bedroom. Mom is feeding dad some rice porridge. He's feeling hot inside, and the palliative care nurse who was here a while ago says it's the pyrogenic (heat-producing) cancer cells, because earlier today dad was telling me he felt like he had a fever, but when I took his temperature, it was normal.
After a long day of traveling yesterday, I got back home at half-past nine at night. My father was almost in tears and mumbling something which I barely made out as "I'm so happy to see you". I was quite shocked to see how much he has deteriorated since I last saw him, merely 3 months ago. He has lost so much body mass, he looks like a skeleton now.
It's quite distressing seeing him like this. I've never imagined I'd have to see this happen this early in my life. Still, the inevitable is staring me right in the face. I'm still feeling confusion inside as to how I'm handling the situation. My emotions are just all mixed up.
I think I made the right decision, and the right time, to come back home now. We can't even speculate how much longer he might survive but he needs to see us, the whole family together.
I thank all our friends all around the world who are lending us their support and prayers, and the angels watching over my family as we go through this tough time.
Comments
You and your family are in my prayers and hang in there (though I can only imagine how much stress and the amount of responsibility you and your family must be feeling).
I'm sure deep down you know you did the 'right'/best decision by going back not only for your dad but for your bros and mom.
Leyna
p/s: I hope you've recovered from the flu/cold? Take it easy
September 15, 2004 11:21 AM | jeremy said:
Hey Bud,
Im so very proud of you, but you know that already. You know that I love you and that WE are all HERE for you.
Whatever the Creator has in store for you, at least you know your father missed you ans was GLAD to see you.
You are a blessed young man. And I am a better man for knowing you and your family.
Luv
jeremy
September 15, 2004 12:07 PM | Jia-yi said:
My thoughts are with your family in this hour. And please take care of yourself as well.
September 15, 2004 10:29 PM | SY said:
Keeping all of you in my prayers constantly Jon. Please r'ber to take good care of yourself too, ok?
September 16, 2004 1:34 AM | Irina said:
Take good care of yourself as well. Be strong!
September 16, 2004 12:55 PM | haniza anuar said:
Dear Jonathan,
My ex-husband has just been confirmed to have late stage gall bladder cancer yesterday. I feel deeply for as I do for my 6 children. although we are divorced he continues being a great father to my kids. I feel numb and lost
September 15, 2004 10:44 AM | Leyna said: